Self Care Time
Today, I decided to attack my self care head on. I love working out. I know shocker. Just because I’m size 18 doesn’t mean shit.
I signed up for a free week of Yoga today on an absolute whim. I wasn’t feeling good about myself. I have been feeling my depression sneaking up on me.
I used to study Yoga religiously. I went multiple times a week in college and always now enjoy the occasional class.
But I as a sat down to calculate how long it had been since my class, I was embarrassed to say it had been over a year.
I went to a basic Yoga 1 class. The last class of the day. And far from my house.
I went through all the basic transitions and was feeling great. About half way though the class I couldn’t breathe. Through no fault of the pose or the difficulty.
I just stopped.
I sat for the next 10-15 mins and just had to breathe. I couldn’t do anything else.
We finished the class with stretches and Shavasana. As I laid completely still my instructor came over to lightly touch my hands. It was at that moment I realized that I had been having a panic attack. In the middle of a practice that is supposed to calmme.
I know as artist I get caught up in all I should be doing. I forget about me and my needs.
If I hadn’t gone to yoga today, I know that I would have had a much worse panic attack in the middle of the streets of New York, with no one around to help me through it.
The point being it’s okay to take a break and ask for what you need.
It doesn’t make you weak. Or less focus. Or scared.
Sometime a simple breath pattern can change your day.